1. When people are deeply upset about something, they need to get their story out. This is the basic principle of mediation and one that is important to remember. Yes, allowing people to speak their minds can increase the level of conflict with which you must deal. That is OK. You have to get through the conflict phase to find the solution.
2. Often in a conflict, the parties are so focused on minutiae that they lose sight of the big picture and it's implications. As the mediator, you need to bring people back to reality by wrenching their attention away from the grain of sand and having them focus on the whole beach. Doing so may help resolution arrive at a startling speed.
3. Identify the true impediment. In every conflict. ask yourself: Is the true motivating factor here? What is really keeping this person from agreeing to a solution?
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